A Simple Appeal

By Justin Gray

I am not a theologian. I am not a scientist. I am not a doctor. I'm just a person.

When I was growing up, my father often said of himself jokingly: "I am not a Rhodes scholar, but I am a road scholar because I've learned a lot on this road of life" - I feel much the same way.

To be clear, by no means do I think he opposed education or the greatly educated; nor do I for that matter. On the contrary, I do honor and admire those who have given their lives in order to scale the lofty heights of academia that they may breathe that rarefied air.

It is often these men and women who share with us valley dwelling villagers a perspective from the mountain tops. And I admit that I often dare to dip my face to drink from the fire hydrant of their knowledge, albeit at the risk of being smothered; a very refreshing and yet overwhelming expense.

So in light of my intellectual mortality, I'd like to apologize in advance to those giants who may stumble upon the pebble of this post.

Now on to my simple appeal.

I beg my fellow villagers to listen carefully.

Have you not noticed that there is something wrong?

We rise in the morning and set about our days with great concern for our time, grooming, and business travel. Once to work we are daily pressed by our occupations for better results despite our greatest efforts.

Have you not heard this call of excellence from within and without?

We return home only to spend our evenings fighting back the disarray which creeps into our homes also known as "cleaning". 

Do we not also with great exertion pull together tightly the fabric of our relationships as to avoid the threat of a breach? What is this force that tries to tear us away from each other?

Have you not noticed the many temper tantrums of nature?

Too often are we subject to her meteorological mood swings. Violent waves and swirling winds. Angry storms and the quaking earth. What has made her so upset that she seems to rail against us?

Have you not noticed that there is something wrong? I have.

I have wrestled long with this question only to discover that in asking the question I acknowledge that things are not as they should be. Everyday I notice a little more that something is wrong and everyday I do try to make things right; I think we all do.

Do you see it now?

Haven't you noticed that in all of our trying it seems as though something is still wrong. So we find ourselves waiting, but we are not sure for what. Hoping, maybe one day, it will get better.

Now I make my appeal.

You may not be a theologian. You may not be a scientist. You may not be a doctor. So I simply appeal to your person.

Could it be that the call of excellence to us both from within and without points to a goodness beyond ourselves?

Could it be that the wrong we notice creeping in us and over us only indicates our great need for things to be made right?

Could it be that nature is upset (just as we are) and awaits the day when things will be as they should.

Could it be that what we call 'wrong' could be called 'sin'?

Could it be that the only hope of better things is from God?

This is my simple appeal. Please consider it carefully.

Romans 8:18-25

How To Love: Christians and Homosexuality

By Justin Gray


After much consideration I have decided to attempt the death-defying act of writing on a very controversial topic. A topic which elicits conflicting thoughts and emotions for many who have experienced its social, political, and spiritual effects.

Homosexuality is a very sensitive subject. Shame, disappointment, and confusion are just some of the feelings often associated with this issue. Furthermore, homosexuality is becoming more pervasive in our culture with gay rights activism growing out of its epicenter.

So engaging this conversation is virtually unavoidable. 

In all honesty, as a Christian I have struggled deeply with how to express love and develop relationships with those of the LGTBQ community because of our differences.

This post represents some of my own conclusions after a time of deep personal reflection on this all important topic.

Here goes nothing...

1. “Homosexuality is an abomination!”

I have found that this is a phrase that is often misinterpreted and
taken out of context.

I will spare you the great theological detail and just say that there is consensus among biblical scholars, both conservative and liberal, on the prohibition of intimate same-sex relations.

So I agree that Christians should have sure moral footing on this issue. However, it seems that one of the more prevalent Christian positions concerning homosexuality is that it is a "cardinal sin". And by virtue of this position many have elevated this prohibited lifestyle above all others; consequently producing an unfair social stigma for people of the LGTBQ community.

In the minds of many Christians if you are gay, you are REALLY BAD.

This leads me to believe that some who claim strong religious convictions are probably more homophobic than overtly Christian.

We should be reminded that Jesus often found himself among the outcasts of society. The gay community, though increasing in prominence, is still a fringe social group or ‘outcasts’ to a certain degree. In order to share the love of Christ, we must be willing to put our fears and stereotypes aside to share the gospel message and discuss openly the implications of this message with regard to sexual lifestyle.

2. “Love the person, hate the sin.” 

This philosophy has become an extremely convoluted Christian ideal.

The American social landscape is changing. A society once shaped by traditional Christian values seems to be no more. Today, we are beginning to see those traditional views being challenged with what many would consider to be “more progressive” thinking. The homosexual lifestyle is no longer treated as a psychological disorder or shunned as a sexually deviant behavior as it was just a few generations ago.

The LGTBQ community has now risen to a level of public acceptance on the grounds that sexual orientation is not “what you do” but “who you are”. Many people who live a homosexual lifestyle embrace the idea that they were born with a predisposition toward the same sex. So in the mind of this person it is impossible to separate their sexual behavior or deep same-sex attraction from their personal identity.

So the phrase "love the person, hate the sin" is interpreted as "hate the person who loves the sin".

Unfortunately, in frustration many Christians either turn their backs on this community all together, or take the “just-give-your-life-to-Jesus-and-stop-sinning” position when engaging their homosexual family members, friends or acquaintances. In my opinion, these attitudes are cold, harsh, and even accusatory.

I believe that Christ would be better represented in these relationships if we learned to pray and be patient.

God has been incredibly patient with mankind throughout the course of history. One person after another failing to live up to God’s standard of true righteousness, and yet, He has continued to be merciful and forbearing.

We have a lot to learn about grace where this is concerned.

Our desire for the restoration of one's personal identity should never override or violate one’s human dignity. People have the right to choose and we must be loving and patient even when they do not choose to our liking.

3. "Speak the truth in love."

I once heard a preacher give an interesting analogy to describe the process of delivering truth to a person.

And it went something like this:

Truth is like an eighteen wheeler truck in that it is usually very heavy. Truth needs a road to travel in order to reach the person.

In a sense, our relationships act as the bridge or that road upon which truth travels. If the relationship is not strong enough to support the weight of the truth, then it will collapse before it reaches the person. The stronger the relationship, the more weight or truth can be supported. Heavy truth is more likely to be received when there is a strong relationship upon which it may cross.  

I've found these to be very wise words, which typically hold true with one exception - situations of dire urgency.

For example, we all would probably agree that a fire fighter doesn't need a strong relationship with those he urges to flee a burning building. And we can be equally sure that those who are perishing in the flames, would prefer an abrupt rescue over a friendly marshmallow roast.

However, given the full context of a persons situation we must be balanced in how we engage people. Generally speaking, I feel that even in our attempts to communicate truth with urgency a great deal of loving carefulness is vitally important.

I find too often that instead of making a personal investment in a relationship with a person of differing values, many Christians only care about delivering their precious cargo.

Some may disagree with this statement, but ultimately I'd prefer a visitor to knock at the door of my life rather than try to kicked it down. In scripture, Jesus knocks on our door (Rev 3:20), and he also invites us to knock on his (Matt 7:8, Luke 11:10).

Wherever you stand on this topic I pray that my words will be taken to heart. This is an issue that we can't ignore, if for no other reason because it touches so many of us on multiple levels.

We must recognize that there is more at stake than a right or wrong position in the growing debate over sexual lifestyle. Learning how to love our homosexual neighbor could be the difference between life and death both temporal and eternal.