After much consideration I have decided to attempt the death-defying act of writing on a very controversial topic. A topic which elicits conflicting thoughts and emotions for many who have experienced its social, political, and spiritual effects.
Homosexuality is a very sensitive subject. Shame, disappointment, and confusion are just some of the feelings often associated with this issue. Furthermore, homosexuality is becoming more pervasive in our culture with gay rights activism growing out of its epicenter.
So engaging this conversation is virtually unavoidable.
In all honesty, as a Christian I have struggled deeply with how to express love and develop relationships with those of the LGTBQ community because of our differences.
This post represents some of my own conclusions after a time of deep personal reflection on this all important topic.
Here goes nothing...
1. “Homosexuality is an abomination!”
I have found that this is a phrase that is often misinterpreted and
I will spare you the great theological detail and just say that there is consensus among biblical scholars, both conservative and liberal, on the prohibition of intimate same-sex relations.
So I agree that Christians should have sure moral footing on this issue. However, it seems that one of the more prevalent Christian positions concerning homosexuality is that it is a "cardinal sin". And by virtue of this position many have elevated this prohibited lifestyle above all others; consequently producing an unfair social stigma for people of the LGTBQ community.
In the minds of many Christians if you are gay, you are REALLY BAD.
This leads me to believe that some who claim strong religious convictions are probably more homophobic than overtly Christian.
We should be reminded that Jesus often found himself among the outcasts of society. The gay community, though increasing in prominence, is still a fringe social group or ‘outcasts’ to a certain degree. In order to share the love of Christ, we must be willing to put our fears and stereotypes aside to share the gospel message and discuss openly the implications of this message with regard to sexual lifestyle.
2. “Love the person, hate the sin.”
This philosophy has become an extremely convoluted Christian ideal.
The American social landscape is changing. A society once shaped by traditional Christian values seems to be no more. Today, we are beginning to see those traditional views being challenged with what many would consider to be “more progressive” thinking. The homosexual lifestyle is no longer treated as a psychological disorder or shunned as a sexually deviant behavior as it was just a few generations ago.
The LGTBQ community has now risen to a level of public acceptance on the grounds that sexual orientation is not “what you do” but “who you are”. Many people who live a homosexual lifestyle embrace the idea that they were born with a predisposition toward the same sex. So in the mind of this person it is impossible to separate their sexual behavior or deep same-sex attraction from their personal identity. So the phrase "love the person, hate the sin" is interpreted as "hate the person who loves the sin".
Unfortunately, in frustration many Christians either turn their backs on this community all together, or take the “just-give-your-life-to-Jesus-and-stop-sinning” position when engaging their homosexual family members, friends or acquaintances. In my opinion, these attitudes are cold, harsh, and even accusatory.
I believe that Christ would be better represented in these relationships if we learned to pray and be patient.
God has been incredibly patient with mankind throughout the course of history. One person after another failing to live up to God’s standard of true righteousness, and yet, He has continued to be merciful and forbearing.
We have a lot to learn about grace where this is concerned.
Our desire for the restoration of one's personal identity should never override or violate one’s human dignity. People have the right to choose and we must be loving and patient even when they do not choose to our liking.
3. "Speak the truth in love."
And it went something like this:
Truth is like an eighteen wheeler truck in that it is usually very heavy. Truth needs a road to travel in order to reach the person.
In a sense, our relationships act as the bridge or that road upon which truth travels. If the relationship is not strong enough to support the weight of the truth, then it will collapse before it reaches the person. The stronger the relationship, the more weight or truth can be supported. Heavy truth is more likely to be received when there is a strong relationship upon which it may cross.
I've found these to be very wise words, which typically hold true with one exception - situations of dire urgency.
For example, we all would probably agree that a fire fighter doesn't need a strong relationship with those he urges to flee a burning building. And we can be equally sure that those who are perishing in the flames, would prefer an abrupt rescue over a friendly marshmallow roast.
However, given the full context of a persons situation we must be balanced in how we engage people. Generally speaking, I feel that even in our attempts to communicate truth with urgency a great deal of loving carefulness is vitally important.
I find too often that instead of making a personal investment in a relationship with a person of differing values, many Christians only care about delivering their precious cargo.
Some may disagree with this statement, but ultimately I'd prefer a visitor to knock at the door of my life rather than try to kicked it down. In scripture, Jesus knocks on our door (Rev 3:20), and he also invites us to knock on his (Matt 7:8, Luke 11:10).
Wherever you stand on this topic I pray that my words will be taken to heart. This is an issue that we can't ignore, if for no other reason because it touches so many of us on multiple levels.
We must recognize that there is more at stake than a right or wrong position in the growing debate over sexual lifestyle. Learning how to love our homosexual neighbor could be the difference between life and death both temporal and eternal.
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